Jul 25 2009

WCS Top Ten- White NBA Players

Published by Primetime at 10:23 am under Sports, Top 10s

Since the only team in the NBA that has multiple white guys on their team is the Indiana Pacers, we at West Coast Show  put together a list of the best white players in  NBA history (kinda).  Here are the qualifications, must be American born… we don’t count Euros… they smell funny.  Secondly the list starts with players after 1980… we aren’t gonna put George Mikan on the list because none of us ever saw him play.

10. Brad Miller - One of the first crackers to rock the headband. It looks ridiculous, but Brad doesn’t care…cause that’s how he rolls…when its Miller Time.

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9. Bill Laimbeer- The equivalent of a hockey goon on the basketball court, Laimbeer made the bad boys bad. Although I think he landed more elbows in the paint than actual jump shots

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8. Tom Chambers- With his feathered blonde hair flowing in the wind…Chambers looked like a male Farrah Fawcett (RIP) But this honkey could play. A multiple all-star…yet another player who blossomed…after leaving the Clippers!

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7. Mark Price- He was a poor man’s John Stockton, down to the bowl cut. But an underrated point guard and the Cavs best all time player…until this Lebron kid showed up.

white-price

6. Jeff Hornacek- Was there ever a better fit for white bread Utah than pale ass Jeff Hornacek? A dead-eye shooter, under-rated scorer and inventor of the gayest free throw ritual ever. Saying hello to his kids, yeah right, I think he just has bad Eczema

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5. Dan Majerle- Majerle seemed to lose his mojo when he cut his white boy jheri curl, but he had some great years for the Suns. Also a great NBA Jam player and the owner of a fine Phoenix restaurant…that ironically serves soul food.

white-majerle

4. Kevin Mchale- Born with the natural skills of a diabetic lumberjack, McHale willed himself into becoming a Hall Of Famer who did all the little things for the Celtics. Unfortunately his legacy is ruined for me after what he did as GM for the Timberwolves. Let’s trade KG for Sebastain Telfair and a basketball pump. Brilliant!

white-mchale

3. Chris Mullin- Mullin looked like one of the guys that prevented black people from eating at diners in the 60’s. But he shot the ball like one of our nubian brothers. Easily the most unstoppable force on Sega Genesis’ NBA Live, Mullin unfortunately was stuck on some horrible Golden State teams for most of his career.

white-chris-mullin

2. John Stockton- Who wears short shorts. He wears short shorts. If you held a poll on which NBA player’s ass we could all easily kick, John Stockton and Muggsy Bogues would always top the list. But Stockton could play and he figured out early on how to make himself an all-star…pass the ball to big athletic black dudes like Karl Malone and watch.

white-stockton

1. Larry Bird- And of course, no surprise here. We go with the white Jesus…I mean, the uhh, white Magic. With the blonde fro second only to Bo Duke of the Dukes Of Hazzard, Larry Bird could flat out play. The pride of French Lick, Indiana (was there ever a more Caucasian sounding town) the three time MVP and hall of famer will go down as one of the greats. Sure, Charles Barkley famously said if Larry Bird were black he’d be just an average NBA player. I say, he’s ours, Chuck. He gives hope to white boys with poor genetics everywhere that maybe, just maybe, we too can one day dunk on a regulation sized hoop.


white-bird1

6 Responses to “WCS Top Ten- White NBA Players”

  1. Jorgeon 26 Jul 2009 at 11:28 pm

    No Jon Konkak?!?

  2. Rachelon 20 Sep 2009 at 6:52 am

    Agreed, Bird is the man and still loved here in Boston.

  3. Bob Whiteon 25 Nov 2009 at 4:00 pm

    Some people are flat out racist, ignorant, geto ass fools! Fuck You and your nubian brothers too!

  4. Anonymouson 28 Nov 2009 at 5:13 pm

    JERRY WEST

  5. C Dawgon 04 Jun 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Where the hell is the white afro, Jack Sikma??? I grew up in Milwaukee and Sikma was…well, Sik!!!

  6. Macedonian Girlson 16 Jul 2010 at 3:46 am

    And where’s Vlade Divac in this list? ;)

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